- first things first: hi. /
- the most important thing I can say about what I do... /
- frequently discussed in my office /
- is this you? /
- therapy& = therapy& ≠ /
- finding your therapist /
finding your therapist
There are people who will tell you otherwise, but I am emphatically not one of them: it is important to respect—even like—your therapist as a person, and to have the sense that they are at least making a credible effort to live out the principles they’re espousing. Bonus points if you get the sense they like you back, but at the very least you should feel that they respect—and see possibility in—you. Don't confuse being liked or respected with being made too comfortable, though; if your sense of yourself is never being challenged in therapy, you’re probably not getting much out of it. It's not your responsibility to make your therapist comfortable, either; a good therapist will help you feel free to ask them questions, give voice to your honest reactions to how they are interacting with you, and even disagree with their conclusions. The fit between you and your therapist is the single most important predictor of how successful the therapy will be—studies consistently prove this—so take the time you need to find one who speaks your language... or, at least, one whose language you want to learn.